Tomorrow I’m Not Here

I’ve attempted twice.
It’s weird to explain that to people –
the relief because I’m gone,
the dark side. Once I dropped
off a building but I didn’t make it
to the ground. I hit the guy’s window
below and fell into his apartment
and he got the fright of his life!

I was not eating. I was not sleeping.
My brother came to pick me up
and he stopped at the closest café.
They had these incredible different kinds
of pastries, and he said, “I’m buying
you a pie, Sis. I’ve never seen you
so thin and so lost.”

The other time I took an overdose of pills.
At the last minute I realized I can’t leave
my family. It’s selfish of me.
I’m scared because I’ve walked over
to the other side and forgotten
about the selfishness.

I’ve got to remind myself.
It’s weird to explain that to people.
I’ve got to remind myself.






“Tomorrow I’m Not Here” is a found poem on the theme of “Suicide.” All of the text comes from the Depression Project transcripts.

Read more poems from “Oh Not So Great”: Poems from the Depression Project.